Last night after one of her evening feedings she immediately started crying and writhing in pain. After not sleeping for a couple of days, this made me exceptionally emotional. I started to cry thinking that I am a failure….and that I have caused my baby pain. I have been unable to narrow down the culprits of her misery. So we decided to try formula for a night while I pump and see if there was any change.
In fact there was…..she slept 3-4 hours at a time….giving me 2-3hour blocks of sleep. She seemed full and happy. She also had some of the biggest poops I have ever seen her do. ((filling 2 diapers at a time!)) I am sure that was a relief and felt good to her too.
As much as I hate it…..and wanted to breastfeed…it appears our time for that has passed. I suppose we will be switching to formula. This will remove a huge burden in so many ways. First…..relieving her discomfort and allowing her and I to get some sleep. Second….I am going back to work full time and have little time to spend pumping! I will surely want to spend as much time with her as possible when I am not working. It will also allow my husband and daughters more bonding time with her.
Leaving the house to run errands and such will be much easier…..no cold bottles and no booby exposition. I could just mix when needed.
I surely agree that breast is best………..but in this case it has been more of a detriment. I will miss that special skin to skin bond……….but at least the bond has been formed….and we can bond in other ways.
In so many ways this is a relief. Of course this decision is not final. The next couple of days will determine that choice by how she tolerates the formula and sleeps.
Wish us all luck……I will keep you informed.